10 Things They Don’t Tell You When You Get Engaged

1. You’re gonna feel like your planning on your own. Chances are, you aren’t. Your mom is helping. His mom is helping. Your aunt is helping. Your friends are helping. & most of all, your fiance is helping. Even so, you’ll still feel like you’re planning on your own.

2. Weddings are expensive! We have been budgeting and planning everything so that we can come out with some money on the other side… even so, with many DIY projects and a backyard venue, its going to cost 4k.

3. Your friends pull away. Regardless if they pulled away when you were dating or not, your friends start to give you more space. It becomes more challenging to do things with them on top of all the planning, work, and time spent in the whirlwind of things. They don’t necessarily mean to, but you won’t be regarded as much “fun” anymore to your single friends.

4. You ARE marrying the family. Don’t listen to what anyone tells you. If you don’t like the family, you better start to! The family will play a huge role in your life and you are essentially becoming one of their daughters. Get used to the push and pull of family functions and the new balancing act of having 2 separate (or in my case, 3!) families.

5. Food costs double… and sometimes triple. Boys eat a ton. Matter of fact, I eat a ton! Mixing another person into the shopping equation will bring in some more money for the food, but for some reason you always end up spending more. Spence and I like to take turns buying groceries, unwritten turns, since we don’t keep track. It must be because you want to eat a little better than top ramen when you’re cooking for your honey. Just know, expect paying more for groceries.

6. Getting membership cards are the best way to save. When we were just dating, we became proud members of Sam’s Club. Best decision ever made! I found the deal originally on City Deals, it was a $45 annual membership (cheaper than usual) that came with a 20 dollar gift card, free rotisserie chicken, a pie, and potatoes. It pretty much paid for itself. We use the card about once a week now for groceries, tampons, food samples, and even dinner at their little food store. IT. IS. WORTH. IT. Even get one just to have a heck of a time playing around. We also (I do) carry a black card membership at Planet Fitness. This means unlimited access to PF anywhere, unlimited massage chairs, unlimited tanning, half price drinks, AND you can bring a friend FREE. EVERY TIME. Now, a regular membership is $10/month. That is only for one location and only for the gym equipment. Black Card members pay $20/month and get all those added bonuses. So basically I am paying for 2 people getting a regular membership, but I also get other incentives I wouldn’t get the other way. Also, it forces you two to work out together. This motivates us because if one person wants to go to the gym, the other will have to as well. This also forces us to spend time together. Physical activity is a great bonding experience.

7. You will tell your “love story” a bajillion times. Get used to it. Or, perhaps be coy and tell everyone they can find out at your bridal shower, bachelorette party, or wedding luncheon.

8. The groom will not like taking engagements.  Sure he will (and should!) tolerate them. However, remember that engagements are more for you as the bride. So when he is falling apart on the 39th take… perhaps give him a smooch and move on to the next photo.

9. You are expected to have a plan. It doesn’t matter what a “plan” means to you. If you don’t have one. Get one.

10. The wedding will go on. So stop worrying about the little things. The linens don’t have to be the perfect shade, the bridesmaid dresses don’t have to fit just right, the music doesn’t have to be by your favorite live band. Whether or not you decide to be happy about how things fall into place, the wedding will happen and it will be great. Don’t forget it is a celebration of your love, and that is what makes people happy, not the price of your cake.

Do you have any suggestions for newly engaged couples?

Tell me in the comments!