10 Ways to Practice Allyship and How to be an Ally to BIPOC and LGBTQ

What is an Ally

Hi, my name is Lauryn and I am an ally. Due to my skin color, ethnicity (I’m white), and sexual preference, I have been afforded many privileges. These privileges are so engrained in society that as a white/straight person, “heterosexual/white privilege” can easily be overlooked if you are living it. These advantages include: generally having a positive relationship with police or those in authority, being represented in media biased towards my race, being insulated from the toll of racism or prejudice, being able to get married, the ability to go wherever I want, and not having to fear being murdered because of the color of my skin.

As a straight, white woman, I can be an ally to the Black and non-Black people of color, as well as LGBTQ communities. An ally is someone with privilege who stands with and in support of marginalized communities to dismantle systems of oppression.

Marginalized Communities

To be an ally, you must support marginalized communities. BIPOC is an acronym that stands for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. LGBTQ is an acronym that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer/Questioning. These are marginalized communities, which means they are, “a group [that] is denied involvement in mainstream economic, political, cultural and social activities due to their living conditions, lifestyles or exclusion.”  

Ways to be an Ally to BIPOC and LGBTQ

There are many ways to be an ally but here are ten steps to ensure you are practicing allyship.

Listen Proactively

In these modern times there has never been more easily accessible information and a greater tendency of people to speak before understanding. Listening isn’t just about hearing marginalized groups, it is also listening to the voices that have also come before the BIPOC and LGBTQ people that you may know. Remember, it isn’t your friends’ job to teach you how to be an ally, but there is a lot that can be learned by just being willing to listen before speaking. Before asking a marginalized group member a question about their oppression, Google it first, take a proactive learning approach and don’t make others feel like your learning is their burden. There are many books, media, films, articles, and voices that have spoken up about the injustices. Listen to their voices when they speak and do your own research.

Don’t Make it About Yourself

This isn’t about you or me. As straight and/or white people, we haven’t suffered disadvantages that BIPOC and LGBTQ deal with daily. When speaking up for marginalized groups, it’s important to amplify their voices instead of centering it around yourself. One example of how to do this is on social media. Instead of posting about how YOU feel about current events or YOUR stand on Black Lives Matter or Pride focus on the message and experiences of those who are living those struggles. Of course, every situation is unique and sometimes it’s an important experience of allyship to be vocal. However, don’t speak the narrative of someone else’s history through your own lens, nor is it appropriate to make BIPOC or LGBTQ feel bad for you as you learn to be an ally. Talking about how hard it is to know what to say about equality isn’t focusing on the oppression of others its focusing on yourself. These movements are about elevating communities of suppressed people to give them equality, which also means equal voice. 

Get Educated and Continue to Learn

Being an ally means becoming a lifelong learner. It takes continuous work and education to begin to understand what it feels like to be alienated as a group of people. Personally, I have found it is best to think & educate myself before I speak. This is a difficult thing for many people who are used to being well regarded, respected, and listened to in their communities and professions. It is crucial that a true ally of BIPOC and LGBTQ people be humble in their pursuit of information and understanding.

Get Involved

The level of involvement an ally commits to can vary greatly, but the key is to stay connected in support of movements. This means signing petitions, making phone calls, sending emails, posting on social media, following BIPOC and LGBTQ accounts on social media, and spending money at BIPOC and LGBTQ owned businesses.

Speak Up

If you see someone make an ignorant or indecent comment, it’s an ally’s job to say something. This happens more and more frequently online than off, but standing up for what is right wether in a social media feed or on the street is of equal importance. Call attention to people’s inappropriate behavior, first with understanding and kindness, to teach them to do better. The goal is not to argue but to educate others. People who feel like they’re being castigated or scolded are more likely to bristle up and resist what you have to say if you do so with scorn. Remember, passive silence allows the voice of the oppressor to be heard, allies should be heard more.

Intervene

This step is a bit more tricky, because BIPOC and LGBTQ are individuals and may not want someone else fighting their battle. Be sure that before intervening, you allow them to be heard. The goal is not to take away a marginalized community’s opportunity to stand up for itself but to stand with and assist them where you can. However, if you see violent acts being committed due to someone’s skin color or lifestyle, it is time to do something and help out a fellow human by stopping the brutality. Violence is not the answer whether on the side of right or wrong, and all life must be regarded as safe and protected.

Show Up

If you’re invited to an event in support of a movement, GO! Standing beside your friends that have long been suppressed is a huge way to support them. Recognize that you are trusted enough to be invited and that is a big honor as an ally.

Sit with Discomfort

The realization that straight, white privilege has afforded opportunities will be uncomfortable. It will remain uncomfortable while unpacking this system of oppression. An ally understands that talking about intolerance is a difficult conversation that require self-reflection and disagreeable feelings. Remember that growth comes from being on the edge of the comfort zone and can only happen when pushing through that feeling.

Learn From Mistakes

Likewise, while growing as an ally, mistakes will be made. Apologize, educate, and fix those mistakes. These are bound to happen, and as long as they are handled with grace, things can be made better. If you offend someone, they are not obligated to forgive you and move on right away. The best thing you can do is to always try to improve the way you interact with others and show, through your actions, that you’ve changed.

Stay Engaged

Lastly, it’s important to concede that one form of white/heterosexual privilege is the ability to turn a blind eye. Being so unaffected by ill treatment that ignoring it is possible means that you have privilege. It’s okay to take breaks, it’s always good to take care, but do so with the intention of continuing the fight for justice as an ally to BIPOC and LGBTQ communities.

@lauryncakes

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♬ How to be an Ally Part 1 – lauryncakes